the domestication of lulu

I’ve been a bum the last few days. Nothing but hanging out, going to the mall, and watching dvds all day.

Caught up with Loisy this afternoon. She’s also suggesting I move back home. I really am contemplating on that. Now that the recent events of my life have turned things into passive chaos, I’m still not sure of what to do.

In these kinds of situations, one would suggest to make a list of the positive and negative things of moving back home.

So here I go.

Positives

1. No rent but I’d probably help out in some way or another.
2. Free food. See above.
3. Household help. Yes, I am a princess. I don’t do chores unless there’s no one else to do it.
4. Family. Now that my mum is gone, my teen kid sisses need guidance. I’m not sure if I’m the perfect person to give this but I’m their eldest sister so I’m all they’ve got. My personal life might be a bit, uh, messy (to say the least) but I still know swhich is which.
5. Very laidback lifestyle. This, I miss. I have become a bit prissy since moving out of the house. I need a reality check. Toinks.
6. Real friends are just a few steps away (well almost a few). Cause although everyone is busy, I know they’ll make time for me when I need them the most.

Negatives

1. Home actually makes me sad. I realize how quiet it is without my mom home. Breakfast/lunch/dinner without her makes me want to cry at times.
2. Finding work here in elbi is not easy. Everyone is from UP.
3. Not having my own place means I can’t have my boy can’t spend the night. CB and I have been spending so much time together lately that it surprises me he’s not yet bored. And as I said my daily routine is hang out, dvd and mall. Beer is also a constant in my life now.

Pretty short list for the negative that it is should be so easy to make a decision. Thing is, number three matters to me. I know I shouldn’t make a decision on a boy but he is just so important to me. Sigh. But he says it’s okay if I move back home.

Maybe it is. I am just a couple of hours away.

Sigh.

The thing is though, hanging out on the football field in school, gives me peace.

my mum’s passed.

imagine that.

she’s only 51.

i’d write something more profound about it but i’m not even admitting to myself that i’ll never see her again.

i prefer to hink sh’es in one of her trips.